Can the Cleavers make a Comeback?

My favorite piece of furniture in the whole house is my dining room table.  My husband purchased it for me about 25 years ago on Valentine’s Day.  He knew how much I valued having our family gathered around a table at mealtimes, birthday celebrations, holidays, or any other number of occasions.  I still consider this one of the most romantic gifts he ever gave me.  Two and a half decades later, this table represents the best of what we’ve had and will continue to have together as a family.  It was over meals around this table where we regularly tuned in to one another, where security and a sense of belonging were developed in us, where the truths of our faith were imparted and shared, where we laughed together, dreamed together, and grieved together.

I am saddened by the fact that only one-third of American families eat dinner together most nights.  But when we consider that regular mealtimes together help to strengthen the family bond and provide an opportunity to focus on our spiritual heritage, is it any wonder that family mealtime is assaulted, even opposed?  Work schedules, sports, practices, music lessons, fitness classes, not to mention the telephone and television, all work to undercut and diminish family mealtime.  Everything else has become more important than the family dinner hour. 

Interestingly, studies show that kids who eat dinner with their families at least five times a week were least likely to take drugs, feel depressed, or get in trouble with the law.  Eating dinner together was a more definitive indicator than age, gender, or family type when predicting a teen’s behavior.  These youth were also more likely to do well in school and to have a supportive circle of friends.  Another study showed that dinnertime was more valuable to child development than playtime, school and story time.

I can hear some of you saying, “Ok, that is all well and good, but this is the 21^st century!  Come on, we’re not the Cleavers!” Our busy schedules and hectic lives have convinced us that eating on the run is essential to modern life.  However, I am confident that with some planning and resolve, we can change this trend.

Am I saying that we should never eat out or go through the drive through on the way home?  Of course not!  The real issue is that we regularly set aside time to sit down to eat together.  For some families, it is impossible to be together at dinnertime.  But how about breakfast or bedtime snack?  Be creative as to when your family can establish regular time together.  If you can’t eat together every night, start by establishing one night a week as family dinner night.   How about setting aside breakfast on Saturday or lunch on Sunday?  Turn off the television, and take the phone off the hook.  This is a hard and fast rule in our home.  The phone is never answered at mealtime.  Our time together is too precious.  Whether you have an hour or 20 minutes to spend, valuable communication can happen when distractions are eliminated.

Whenever we choose to have family mealtime, three questions are helpful.  How can we capture focused time more regularly?  How can we make the most of that time?  And, how can we eliminate complaints and quarrels and instead fill the time with laughter and open communication?

Mary Beth Lagerborg in the book Table Talk states, “If we abandon our consistent family mealtime, we lose a forum in which family members can express their crazy ideas, their dreams, their frustrations, their fears, and their pleasures.  We lose a sounding board for opinions about presidential candidates and ideas for a great family vacation.  We lose the base from which most family traditions are built, and our children lose a chance to grow in self-esteem and life skills and to

learn good manners in a nonthreatening setting.  We may also lose the opportunity to bring a bit of happiness to a person or family who needs acceptance and a warm meal.  Gone is the chance to expand our worldview by having guests who are different from us in nationality, race, or religion.  We may lose a natural training ground for children, a place where parents talk and children learn about values, cultural preferences, current events, and how their parents see God moving in the world.”

This is a call back to the family table.  Fight for your family mealtime.  It will be worth it.

RomaLee

Foggy Bloggy

Dave Arnold Photography, 2011

As I write this today, I have to admit, I am exhausted. I just got back from my grandmother’s funeral.  Unlike many funerals, this was truly was a joyous occasion and celebration of her life.  I am so grateful that I was able to attend.  Funerals never come at a convenient time.  Life is always moving forward quickly, and then suddenly our plans are interrupted.   

Since my husband and I will be going to Hawaii for our 30^th Anniversary this year, our budget had been planned out, and there wasn’t extra money to add to the expense of attending a funeral.  However, you do what you have to do to get there, and you are the one truly missing out if you don’t make the effort to attend.  As I learned even more about my grandma, and the Godly heritage she left, I realized how blessed I am.  Where would I be today without a grandmother who spent time on her knees in prayer for all of us?  I am who I am today in part because of those who have gone before me on both sides of my family and set an example for me to live up to.

After my flight landed in Omaha, I had to drive another 2½ hours to the town where the funeral would be held.  Unfortunately, mother nature didn't cooperate.  A half hour into my journey, I hit one of those nasty spring blizzards that snow so hard you can't see but a few feet in front of you.  You know, one of those white knuckle drives where you have to pry your fingers off of the steering wheel when you get there.  I was so relieved when I finally arrived at my hotel. 

Thankfully the next day was bright and sunny for the funeral. At least the roads would be dry to make the trek back to the airport at 4:00 am the following morning.  However, when I got up and walked out of the hotel, the fog was so thick, you could barely see a few feet in front of you.  So not only was I going to be driving in the dark, but also in the fog. 

Sometimes I wonder about the challenges we face in our lives.  As I was making my way through that foggy road, I got to thinking about how much of our life is foggy or snow covered.  Most of the time we can’t see very far ahead to what might be coming around the corner.  We never know from one day to the next what life holds for us.

I also realize that today is Good Friday.  I've always imagined this day being cloudy and foggy as well, as Jesus hung on the cross to pay the price for our sins.   I'm sure many standing around watching this whole event transpire, did not know what lie ahead.  Would this Jesus really rise again like He said He would?  What did the future hold?   Thankfully we know the outcome of this story and that is why we celebrate Easter!

Because we do not always know what we will face in the days ahead, it was a good reminder to me to make the most of today.  Do your very best today with what you have been entrusted with and let God to do the rest.  Take time today to give your husband a kiss, hug your kids, spend some time in prayer, call a friend, smile at a neighbor, pet your dog, (Lakita loves a good ole’ belly rub), etc.   Enjoy the view on the mountain you are climbing today while you can, as there are never any guarantees what is over the next peak.  Don’t always be looking for greener pastures in a meadow or a higher more exciting mountain to climb.  Be thankful for what you have today, and leave a legacy for those in your life that will be passed down for generations to come.  What do you want others to remember about you when your time on this earth is through? 

I hope one thing remembered about all of us is that we took time to make the most of every opportunity during the valleys and the peaks of our lives.

Janna

Mammo What?

On my side of the mountain in Colorado, I have been feeling a bit fatigued lately. Since I haven’t had a checkup in a couple of years, I decided it was time to get a physical and have some blood work done to make sure everything is normal (whatever normal is). So I made the dreaded appointment with my doctor, and filled her in on my aches and pains. She proceeded to tell me that not only did she want to do blood work, but she also wanted me to have a mammogram and a bone density test. A bone density test? Seriously? Couldn’t she tell just to look at me that my bones are dense? Why do I need a test to prove it? And a mammogram? What is a mammo? And I am not even a Gram yet! But being the dutiful person that I am, I set up the prescribed appointments and waited for the date and time to arrive.

As I walked into the elaborate building, I thought this isn’t so bad. There was a big sign outside that said Penrad Imaging. That sounded pretty important to me, so I opened the doors with confidence and strolled in like I owned the world.

However, my ego was quickly deflated when the assistant at the desk handed me several forms to fill out. Of course, the first thing they wanted to know was what my weight and height were. Now I don’t know what that had to do with anything, but that wasn’t what caught my eye.

The form said: Height ___ Today’s Height____ Weight___ Today’s Weight____.

“Today’s Height” and “Today’s Weight” were highlighted in bright yellow. Are you kidding me? Evidently they are used to people lying about these things. I’m sure none of you have ever done that, and I know I certainly haven’t. =) Well after getting over the shock of that, I proceeded to fill out the forms, which had some other odd questions as well such as, “Do you wear a seatbelt?” Now I was really getting worried, thinking that they must be going to strap me into something so I couldn’t get out.

I barely had time to finish the forms when a staff member came out and escorted me down the hall to a small room, which looked sort of like a small locker room. After handing me a key to wear around my wrist, and showing me the locker where I was to distribute my unused belongings, she handed me not one, but two gowns, and said, “Here, put one on frontwards and one on backwards.” Now things were getting interesting. She acted like this was perfectly normal, and left me to figure it out. After examining the gowns, which both looked exactly alike, I proceeded to follow her instructions. I’ll have to admit, I was a bit confused. Don’t you think if you have two gowns, they should be a bit different? At least have some openings in different places,(which we won’t mention)? But this was NOT the case. There were not openings anywhere in either of them except for armholes. After pondering this for a few moments, I struggled to get into the gowns, one forwards and one backwards. Maybe this is why they asked me if I wore a seat belt. They knew how confined I would feel. Or… maybe that is why they had a sign on the wall with a cord that said: “pull if you need help.”

Fearing I would get more help than I needed, I refrained from pulling the cord.

I got situated as best I could and sheepishly walked out of the locker room, hoping I had the gowns on at least partially correct. I was instantly met by a gruff woman, who reminded me more of a military drill sergeant than a nurse. She did not explain anything to me but ordered me to get up on the table by this huge machine and lay down on my side. I tried to follow her instructions, but once I was on the table, instead of asking me to move in certain ways, she would just grab a hold of me and slide me around on the vinyl table. I have to admit I got the giggles for a bit. I assumed this was the bone density test. Maybe my bones weren’t as dense as I thought if she could maneuver me around like that. I tried to contain myself because every time she would take a picture with her monstrous machine, she would say, “Hold your breath.” Well maybe you’ve figured it out by now, but it’s hard to hold your breath while you are trying to keep from giggling. Somehow I managed, and made it through the series of moves, “hold your breaths”, and snapshots.

While I was deciding that maybe the process wasn’t so bad after all, but actually right down humorous, I was ordered off the table and handed a paper bag with a handle on it. I was told to gather my belongings that I had left in the locker and put them in the paper bag. Again, I did as I was instructed, and had a moment of panic when she started walking me to the same door I came in. Is this lady really going to walk me right through the waiting room in all my glory? Well fortunately, the hallway led to another door, where we took the back way into another section of doctors’ offices, meeting and greeting other nurses and staff members along the way who didn’t look a bit shocked at my twisted gown appearance. I realized this was the norm for them, so I smiled and nodded my head, trying not to make eye contact.

I was escorted into a different locker room and handed yet another key, where I safely deposited my meager belongings. Here I was told to sit in the waiting room where about 10 other women, looking like jailbirds, were all seated. They, too, had on the twisted prison gowns with the key hung safely about their wrist. I thought to myself, “At least they give you a key of escape.” I wanted to see if they had their gowns on like I did, but didn’t want to stare, so I picked up a magazine to act like I was reading, and would inconspicuously peer over the top of my magazine every so often to check them out. It is an awkward feeling sitting in a room trying NOT to stare or see what everyone else is doing. They all were putting on the facade, like I was, that this was normal, everyday behavior, and that they had on the latest fashion.

After waiting about 15 minutes, my name was finally called, and I was off to the mammogram. Now I won’t go into all of the gory details, as I’m sure you have all at least heard of or experienced this for yourselves, and have read all of the jokes on what to do in preparation. I will say that this nurse was much friendlier, and the process wasn’t quite as bad as I suspected. After it was all said and done, all of the results on everything came back normal, for which I am very grateful. Since I am very passionate about doing things as naturally as possible, I started on a new vitamin supplement called Luminex, and it has made all of the difference in my fatigue. I have had much more energy the past couple of weeks and feel like my old self again.

I will say that I am thankful for all the modern technology of our day that makes these tests possible. While it may be a bit humorous getting these tests done, it is so important to faithfully keep up on your health and have regular checkups. A friend of mine called the other day whose story did not turn out as fortunate as mine. She just had a double mastectomy. My heart goes out to her and to so many of you who are dealing with these issues. So be diligent. Make that appointment today, and let me know how it goes for you!

In Between

Have you ever noticed that much of life is lived in the “in between?”  In between jobs, in between relationships, in between stages, in between seasons.  We find ourselves in the waiting room between one thing and another.  We are almost always waiting for something.

Word came this week that my grandmother suffered a severe stroke.  She will not recover.  We wait for the call that will make a trip to Nebraska imminent.

The calendar tells me it is spring, but the rain mingled with snow outside my window today combined with the temperature says it is still a few weeks off.  Every morning when I wake up I think,”Maybe today the sun will shine.  Maybe the mercury will reach a degree that will feel like a spring day today.”  Alas, I am still waiting.

I am currently in an “in between” stage of life.  My four girls are out of the home, but I do not yet wear the title of “Grandma.”  I want to be a productive, contributing member of society, but still be available to our grown daughters and elderly mothers.  I want some free time, but not too much.  My husband is approaching retirement, but not quite there yet.  I have let go of one job, but wait to hear on another.  So how do we live in the “in between?”

Often we equate waiting with doing nothing.  Actually, waiting is not as passive a stage as one might think. While waiting we can do lots of things.  We can pray.  We can read.  We can take classes we never had time to take before.  We can listen.  We can write. We can volunteer.  We can get up every day and be present in the lives of those we love.  Sometimes the most effective thing we can do is just “show up.”  Every day, every week, every month, year after year.  There is a lot to be said for faithfully “showing up.”  It’s easier to withdraw, to hide out, to stay home, to do nothing.

How well do you wait?  My irises are poking their stalks up through the ground taking in today’s raindrops.  They have waited since last July to once again display their glory.  Maybe you feel like you have been “under ground” for a time.  Take heart.  Good things are ahead.  One day, if you are proactive in your waiting, you will look back and see that much was accomplished in the “in between.” 

RomaLee

Who Are Your Friends?

 This week, on my side of the mountain in Colorado, I received an email that reminded me of the value of friends.   It made me stop and think of all of the wonderful people God has placed in my life.  I used to analyze people wondering if this one, or that one could be my friend.  As I grew older, I realized that friends come in many different shapes and sizes, and from many different backgrounds and walks of life, but each of them has contributed something special to my life.  I have learned to not label who could be my friend, and to reach out to those who need a friend.   Some of you have graced my life for many years, some just for a short period of time, some of you I haven’t met yet, but all have brought value to my life and made me into the person I am today. 

I am ever grateful for YOU my friend!

 FRIENDS IN MY CIRCLE

When I was little,
I used to believe in the concept of one best friend,  When I started to become a woman.
I found out that if you allow your heart to open up,
God would show you the best in many friends.
One friend is needed when you're going through things with your man. 

(My handsome Mountain Man)

Another friend is needed when you're going through things with your mum.
Another will sit beside you in the bleachers as you delight in your children and their activities.
Another when you want to shop, share, heal, hurt, joke, or just be.
One friend will say, 'Let's cry together,'

(Lisa is my sharing and crying friend)

Another , 'Let's fight together,'
Another , 'Let's walk away together.'
One friend will meet your spiritual need,

(My dear Bible Study Ladies)

Another your hiking buddy,
Another your love for movies,
Another will be with you in your season of confusion,
Another will be your clarifier,
Another the wind beneath your wings.

(My Mountain man and best friend through thick and thin)

Some friends will support you in business!

(I have so many wonderful home business friends but these are a few of my leaders)

 But whatever their assignment in your life,
On whatever the occasion,
On whatever the day,
Or wherever you need them to meet you with their gym shoes on and hair pulled back,
Or to hold you back from making a complete fool of yourself,
Those are your best friends.

It may all be wrapped up in one person, But for many, it's wrapped up in several
One from 7th grade,
One from high school,
Several from the college years,

On some days your mother, 

(My Mama)

And on some days, your daughters.

(My beautiful daughter Amber)

On some days your dad,

(Dad)

On others, your sisters,

(My sweet sisters Barby & RomaLee)

And some days your son.

(My son Landon)

And then there are those days that you feel like the only friend you have is your dog!  
 She has certainly been a good friend to me!

(Lakita)

There are way too many friends to mention, but I am truly grateful for each and every one of you!  I have already made new friends through Mountain Matters as well, and look forward to the many more I will meet on the climb in the days ahead!

Who are the friends that God has placed in your life?  I'd love to hear how they have impacted you!   Take some time out this week to let them know you care!

Janna